


Always Felt Like Home

by LivingOutLoud



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Jughead Jones, Breakup, Coming Out, F/M, Kissing, Makeup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 03:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10267496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivingOutLoud/pseuds/LivingOutLoud
Summary: Betty was flattered when Jughead kept his shirt and jeans on, when he kissed her forehead and wrapped an arm around her but didn’t try anything else. Jughead’s heart finally stopped pounding when Betty rested her head on his chest and went to sleep, exactly like she said she would. Ever since he’d kissed her, he felt like he was in over his head.Post episode 6, does not follow episode 7.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place after episode 6 but does not take into account episode 7
> 
> This is my own personal AU (sort of) because I love Bughead, but I also love ace Jughead, and I don't see why the two can't just get along. To be clear, Jughead is not aromantic in this piece. And as asexuality is a spectrum, I see Jughead where he doesn't get aroused, and he is sex-repulsed, but he does have romantic feelings, and he does like kissing and other kinds of intimacy. 
> 
> Once again, this is a personal AU, I'm portraying the characters how I wish they were and how I wish the relationship went, but this is not meant to follow canon of the tv show, or necessarily any of the comics, or anyone else's personal thoughts but mine.

At some point, Jughead had become Betty’s solid ground. That night after Polly, when he had slipped through her bedroom window, she had been in a bad place, and so happy he was there to hold her up. When Jughead kissed her, she finally felt like she wasn’t alone. Night after night, she kept wondering how he knew when she needed him. Until one night she realized, she always needed him.

            He’d climb through the window every night, so often she started leaving it unlocked. They’d sleuth out possible leads and work on articles. Some nights she’d have nightmares or be terrified of her own parents, and he’d just hold her.

            The first time Betty had asked if Jughead would stay all night, his only argument had been, “What if your Mom finds out.” But Betty didn’t care. She wanted, no, needed him there. And Jughead always was, unlike Veronica or Kev or even Archie. All she had to do was ask and he’d be there. Jughead hid under her bed while she changed into her pajamas and her Mom came in to tuck her in. He waited until they could hear the bedroom door close down the hall, then he slid out from under the bed and climbed over Betty to fit between her and the wall. When Betty whispered, “Will your Dad worry if you don’t come home?” Jughead had kissed her and said, “Don’t worry about it.” Betty had taken that as selflessness, not secrecy.

            Betty was flattered when Jughead kept his shirt and jeans on, when he kissed her forehead and wrapped an arm around her but didn’t try anything else. Jughead’s heart finally stopped pounding when Betty rested her head on his chest and went to sleep, exactly like she said she would. Ever since he’d kissed her, he felt like he was in over his head. He’d never really felt like this, wanting someone so badly, missing Betty so much when she wasn’t near him, wanting to kiss her and hug her and hold her and never leave. Feeling like he was home. And that’s what made the lack of everything else he felt so apparent. He hadn’t figured out what to do yet. In his heart he hoped he’d never have to deal with it, but in his head he knew it was a matter of time before she’d leave. Still, for now Jughead was going to have the best sleep he’d had in years.

            At some point Jughead had become Betty’s boyfriend. They hadn’t said it, but everyone at school was saying it about them and neither of them had corrected anyone. Jughead had felt his heart speed up and his throat constrict with fear. Betty had felt the same, for a completely different reason.

            Some nights he’d slip through her window well after her bedtime and neither of them could sleep, so they would just talk. Then there were other nights like tonight. Lying together turned to kissing, and Jughead liked the kissing. The way Betty’s lips felt against his, the way she smiled up at him, the way she stroked his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair while he laid back on her pillows, the way her weight laid across him like a blanket.

            “Do you want to stay tonight?” Betty whispered in the darkness.

            “If you want me to.” Jughead whispered back, letting Betty take his bottom lip between hers and suck.

            “Okay.” Betty shifted on top of Jughead, straddling his legs so she could sit up a little more.

            “Okay.” Jughead was starting to feel nervous again. Betty was rubbing up against him more, was she expecting something to happen? But the kissing was nice. And with her sitting up a little more, he could get more air and see her better. That was nice. He told himself this was nice.

            He ran his fingers through Betty’s hair, let down from her pony tail, sweeping locks of it out of her face and tracing his thumb down her cheek. He kissed her again and it was nice, except Betty’s hands had left his hair and were trailing down his collar bone and chest.

            “Aren’t you uncomfortable, sleeping in your jeans all the time?”

            Fuck. “I’m fine.” Jughead whispered.  Betty’s hands slid down to work at the button if his jeans, and he caught them in his.

            “Okay.” Betty stammered and moved her hands back up, but Jughead wasn’t letting go of her. “It’s fine.” She smiled, tried to smooth over whatever she had done. But she didn’t know what she was doing. She’d never even had a boy in her bed before Jughead, she was just running on instincts. Betty gulped in air and tried to calm down. She couldn’t help feeling she’d screwed up another relationship. She kissed him again, but already Jughead was moving, sitting up.

            He had to do this now. Jughead should have done it before anything had happened, before he’d even kissed her and given her the wrong idea. He’d got so close to thinking someone might care about him, he’d let it cloud his judgement, and his cynicism which was almost always right. He had to do it now, get everything out so she could leave him. So it would hurt less in the long run. Jughead sat up, Betty moving with him, and he held her hands in his, and he focussed on her windowsill, where he could still see the ends of the ladder leaning against it.

            “Betty.” Jughead started, his voice catching in his throat like the first time they kissed. “I think I’m in love with you, Betty. Maybe on some level I always have been. You’ve always felt like-like home to me. And I…” He focussed on the ladder, agreed that he wouldn’t cry until he was gone. “But I don’t want _that_ , Betty. I can’t give you what you want. So if you want me to get out and…and never come back, I’ll understand.”

            The last part came out as a whisper. He let go of Betty’s hands, which had begun trembling in his. When Jughead looked up, Betty was crying and her face was a mix of pain and anger.

            Jughead nodded solemnly and got off her bed. He grabbed his coat and hat from off the floor and made it out the window without looking back at Betty, or the crumpled sheets of her bed. Betty didn’t say anything, holding in her sob until the window closed. The tears were welling in Jughead’s eyes as he made it down the ladder, which is why he half-fell and made so much noise. He only paused to slip on his coat and pull his beanie on. He did up the button on his jeans as he walked away, not bothering to wipe the tears from his eyes. Which may be why he didn’t notice Archie standing at his window, woken up by the noise and wondering what was going on.

 

            The next day at lunch, Betty was leaning on Veronica’s shoulder, crying and telling the whole gang how heart-broken she was. Veronica stroked her hair and told her it was going to be okay. Kev was playing devil’s advocate, saying good riddance, he’d never liked Jughead anyway. Like they hadn’t been friends since grade four. Archie had been solemn and frowning since Betty had started crying.

            “Jughead seemed like he was crazy about you, Betty. Maybe he’ll come to his senses.” Veronica tried.

            “No. No, he made it very clear how he felt about me.” Betty said. And she couldn’t help looking at Archie, the same anger she’d felt over him welling up inside again.

            Archie met her gaze and he looked even angrier then Betty did. He chewed on his lip then stood up from their table and walked off. Veronica called after him, “where are you going?” but he didn’t turn around.

            Jughead was cowering in the shade of an oak tree around the back of the school, right where Archie thought he’d find him. Jughead had his laptop out and had his head down toward the screen so no one would see how red-rimmed his eyes were, but he hadn’t written anything all day. He barely acknowledged when Archie came around the tree.

            “Jughead, get up.” Archie grunted.

            “Archie, what are you-“

            “Get up.”

            Jughead moved his laptop and wiped at his eyes and grumbled, but got off the wet grass. “Whatever catastrophe this is, can we deal with it tomorrow? I’m kind of…” Jughead stopped talking when he saw the look on Archie’s face. Anger like he’d never seen.

            Then Archie swung and Jughead stumbled several feet from the punch to the face. His hand went to his jaw as his head spun for a second.

            “What the fuck, Archie?” he yelled.

            “I can’t believe you, Jughead! She’s my best friend, hell, she’s our best friend. And I might have hurt her but, Jesus, Jughead.” Archie shook his head, “I can’t believe you’d sleep with her, then just dump her like that. I can’t believe you.”

            “What?” Jughead shouted around his quickly swelling jaw. “Who told you that?”

            “I saw you last night, crawling out of her bedroom window at half past two. And today Betty’s crying about how you dumped her last night.”

            “I didn’t dump her, she dumped me!” Jughead said. “And we definitely didn’t sleep together. Jeez, Archie, you’ve known me how many years? Does any of that sound like something I’d do?”

            “Then why were you in her bedroom?”

            “We were just sleeping.” Jughead frowned and stared at the ground.

            “Just sleeping?”

            “We were kissing a bit.” Jughead admitted. “But that’s it. I’m not like _that,_ Archie. I thought of all people you’d get that.”

            Archie’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. He’d been so angry and so sure when he’d come over here. He just stood and watched as Jughead picked up his laptop and stomped back toward the school.

            The bell rang when Archie made it back to Betty’s locker. Her eyes were dry at least, though they were still red. More puffy than Jughead’s, Archie noticed, but less bloodshot.

            “You’ve got some explaining to do to me.” Archie said. “Cause I just punched my best friend in the face for you, now he’s telling me you’re the one who broke up with him.”

            “You did what?” Betty said in hushed shock.

            “Oh my god,” Veronica shook Betty’s shoulder and pointed down the hall.

            Jughead was walking toward his next class, Reggie and his gang were moving into formation to shove him as they usually did, but this time Jughead threw an elbow into Reggie and shoved them out of the way, a scowl on his face. He pointedly didn’t look at the group while he walked past, but the purple bruise forming on his left jaw was hard to hide.

            “Holy crap, you actually punched him?” Kev said.

            “Betty, tell me what actually happened.” Archie crossed his arms and leaned against her locker.

            “I already did, Archie. He said he didn’t want this with me, then he left.” She wiped fresh tears from his eyes.

            “He didn’t do anything else?” Archie asked.

            “What else does he have to do, Archie, he broke her heart?” Veronica chimed in.

 

            The fight went on for three days. Archie took Jughead’s side, and Veronica took Betty’s. Kev changed his mind back and forth depending on the argument. Cheryl Blossom was convinced the whole thing was a conspiracy, because why would anyone date either of them. But no one budged, and no one was able to clear up the mess. Every time Betty tried to explain what had happened more, she started crying. Jughead got moody and self-hating and would just refuse to talk about it at all. Neither of them would come within fifty feet of the other one, they wouldn’t even look at each other.

Finally, Veronica and Archie decided they were going to have to force them to deal with it. They both clearly still cared, and at the very least they needed to talk about it so they could go back to being friends.

            Each of them lured their friend to Pop’s in the evening with the promise of food and no more talk of the breakup. Betty and Veronica were getting out of Veronica’s car when Archie and Jughead made it around the corner. Jughead stopped and tried to turn back, but Archie caught him by the collar and pulled him along despite his protests.

            Archie pulled him over to the side of the building where Veronica and Kev were holding Betty captive, while she begged to go back to the car. Archie shoved Jughead forward, but he turned toward Archie instead of Betty.

            “Archie, let me leave.”

            “No.”

            “I promised I’d leave Betty alone, you can’t make us talk.” Jughead said.

            To that, Betty turned around with her eyebrows creased. All she could see, though, was the back of Jughead’s worn blue jacket.

            “No.” Archie said, “You two have been friends forever, we’re not going to let you two ruin that over a few weeks of whatever went on between you.”

            “This isn’t like you and me, Archie, or even like you and Betty. Betty doesn’t want that.”

            “Why don’t you speak for yourself and stop saying what I want.” Betty said. “You don’t get to do that anymore.”

            Jughead spun around to look Betty in the eyes for the first time in three days. The bruise on his jaw had faded to a yellowish brown colour, and the swelling was gone. Betty had been expecting to see anger or even hurt in Jughead’s eyes. They’d fought enough as kids that she knew what that looked like. But instead all she could see was fear written on his face, the kind of fear that made Jughead run and not look back until someone, usually Archie, went and found him and dragged him back to face it. Maybe things hadn’t changed so much since they were kids.

            “I said I’d leave and not come back, Betty. That’s what I’m trying to do!”

            “But that was you that said that! I never agreed to that.” Betty snapped.

            “You didn’t have to say it, Betty, it was written all over your face.”

            “I can’t help what my face looks like, Jughead! I was upset, you’d just broken up with me!”

            “I’ didn’t break up with you-“ Jughead yelled back.

            “Yes you did!” Betty cut him off.

            “I didn’t!”

            “You did! You did so!” Betty sniffled loudly. She was starting to cry again and her throat was getting hoarse from yelling.

            “I did not, for God’s sake, I said I loved you!” Jughead shouted.

            Veronica’s hand went to her mouth and she glanced to Archie, who looked just as shocked.

            “So what?” Betty said, still crying. “It didn’t mean anything.”

            “It didn’t-“ Then Jughead started cry-shouting. “You’re still claiming I broke up with you, but _that_ didn’t mean anything?”

             “Archie said he loved me, but he couldn’t tell me what I needed to hear. That’s how he let me down easy, wasn’t it Archie? Sound a little familiar to you?” Betty was screaming at Jughead now.

            Jughead’s anger had deflated like he’d just put all the pieces together. He turned toward Archie again, a look between disbelief and exasperation written on his face. Archie tried to shirk away from his gaze, but only managed to get caught in Veronica’s and Kev’s, who both looked pissed.

            Jughead sighed loudly and wiped at the tear-tracks on his cheeks. He turned back to Betty and tried to keep his voice calm.

            “Look, Betty, I’m not Archie. I wasn’t breaking up with you, I was giving you the chance to break up with me. And I did mean it.”

            The anger in Betty faded away, but all it left was more tears. She heaved out a sob. “But-but you said you didn’t want this.” She said, gesturing to the two of them.

            “I didn’t mean I didn’t want this. I…” Fuck. Jughead had never guessed the problem was he hadn’t come out enough. He looked up to Veronica, then Archie. “Can everyone else leave? Please.”

            Kev and Veronica walked toward Pop’s and Archie followed, after trying to look sorry and supportive to Betty and Jughead.

            “This whole thing was just a giant mess, wasn’t it?” Betty said. At least she didn’t sound angry anymore.

            “Yeah, like everything else.” Jughead let out half a sardonic laugh. Now that the fight was over, he was quickly loosing what energy he had. He deflated and sat on the curb, wrapping his arms over his knees.

            Betty hesitated but sat next to him, looking at him expectantly.

            “I didn’t mean I didn’t want this.” Jughead gestured toward Betty. “I meant I didn’t want what you were starting to do, in your bedroom.”

            “Oh.” Betty said. “You should have just said that, Juggy. We can wait-“

            “I don’t want to wait! Betty,” He sighed out and looked at his feet.“I’m asexual, okay?”

            Betty sat, looking at Jughead but saying nothing. Slowly, he turned to look at her, and there were tears in his eyes again.

            “I don’t know what that means.” Betty admitted.

            “It means I don’t want to have sex. Ever.” Jughead looked back at Betty’s green eyes. “And I don’t mean some Archie logic, I don’t want you. I mean I don’t want to sleep with anyone, at all, ever.”

            “Okay.” Betty said, but Jughead couldn’t read the emotion on her face.

            “I mean, when I’m alone in my own bed, just me, I don’t even do that.” And now he was over explaining. Great. Now it was all coming out, Jughead wasn’t sure he knew how to stop. “I just don’t want that.”

            “Okay.” Betty said again.

            “That’s it, just okay?” Jughead looked up to the night sky. “You’re supposed to cry and get upset about how I lied to you all these years. You’re supposed to say you could never be with me and storm off, or something. Anything.”

            “Do you still want to hold my hand, and go out together, and say you’re my boyfriend?” Betty asked.

            Jughead turned back to look at her. Betty was chewing on her lip the way she did, waiting for Jughead to figure himself out, looking like she’d accept anything he wanted to do, like she always did when they were kids.

            “Yeah. Yeah, I want that.” Jughead whispered.

            “Can I still kiss you?”

            Jughead nodded, “I like it when you kiss me.”

            “Will you still stay over some nights? If I’m having a bad day?” Betty asked.

            “Do you promise not to put your moves on me again?” Jughead said.

            “Just cuddling, I promise.” Betty said. And she laughed a little, and smiled at him.

            Jughead took Betty’s hand into his and squeezed. “Okay.”

            Betty let her head fall on Jughead’s shoulder. “You have to promise to tell me if something is too much. Stop thinking I’m going to leave you just because you say no, okay?”

            “Okay.” Jughead smiled and leaned his cheek into Betty. “Are you seriously staying with me?”

            Betty nodded. “We’ll make it work.” She turned her head up to kiss Jughead’s cheek. “I love you too.”

            Jughead squeezed her hand again.

            “I guess we should go inside and tell them we made up.” Betty said.

            “Yeah, before they come looking for us again.”

            Jughead stood up and pulled Betty’s hand until she stood too. He looked toward their friends at a booth in the diner. Before going in, he leaned down and kissed Betty again, like he had the first time.


End file.
